


I Would Never Hurt You

by LyssGreen



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol abuse mention, Connor is a sweet bean, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It's Hank, M/M, Nightmares, Sorry guys, Suicide, Swearing, and post nightmare comfort, android gore description for a case, feeeeellings, it gets sad, not a happy end, set post pacifist end, sometimes you just gotta write something that doesnt end happy, this may hurt your feel guys, those two love eachother, what do you expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-10 00:39:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15279753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyssGreen/pseuds/LyssGreen
Summary: Connor held Amanda back when she attempted to take control of him after Cyberlife tower. Now Connor has a life, he's working with the DPD again, he has Hank - a partner in more senses than one. And despite that clawing feeling that Amanda is still there, waiting in the shadows of nightmares to take control, Connor will do anything to keep what he loves safe. To keep Hank safe.





	I Would Never Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

> Please make sure you've read the tags, kiddos. This...this isn't exactly a happy ending. I probably should have been writing for my ongoing DBH fic but I had this idea and wanted to write it.   
> Note: this isn't beta'd, i did try to get all my mistakes and I did read this over but i'm tired, I'll have missed something - i probably missed a 'thorium' instead of 'thirium' spelling mistake somewhere, sorry!

The first time he had felt Amanda try and seize control he had been standing with Markus as he gave a speech to the group of hundreds of androids, the sea of blue lights belonging to loyal followers who looked to that very stage he had been standing on. That stage was hope for them. Connor refused to ruin it. He could make that choice now, he could choose to say no to his programming, to say no to Amanda. So he did. He fought her off and regained control of himself, stashing his handgun away. And he tried to put the experience behind him. Particularly cold weather never failed to make him feel uncomfortable, however.

 

He had reunited with Hank not long after everything had gone down. And never really left his side again.

 

The DPD had needed all the help they could get in the direct aftermath of the android revolution so despite the reservations of many of the officers at the station Fowler had ultimately decided that Connor's help would be too much of an asset to turn down - whether he was an android and a deviant or not. After all, Connor was programmed to be the perfect law enforcement android, it was his purpose. So he went back to being Hank's partner and life continued. In the first few months the only cases they were assigned were basic. Despite Hank's usual department being homicide they found themselves being assigned assault cases and other crimes against androids. Fowler has justified it as android crimes being more fitting for the only android-human pairing in the station. Connor reasoned that it was far more likely that Fowler was just covering himself - android relations and the place of androids in the world was all up in the air. To have it get out that an android was working major cases would bring far too much unnecessary attention to the department. Connor understood that. Hank was less calm about the whole situation.

  "The fuck it is, Connor!" Hank had lost his temper after Connor had shared his thoughts on Fowler's choices when they had gotten home one night - Connor had just sort of followed Hank home one night due to having no where else to go and it had become a habit, one which Hank insisted on when he actually realised that Connor had no home of his own,  "It isn't okay that he's doing this to y- to us, I'm a Lieutenant in homicide for fucks sake and I'm working assault half the fucking time!"

"If you would rather go back to working homicide, Lieutenant-"

"Hank, how many time have I told you, call me Hank."

"Fine, Hank. If you'd rather go back to working homicide cases then put in a request for a new partner."

"What?" Hank looked taken back by the comment.

'"You worked without a partner on homicide before I was sent to the department, just go back to that. I'll work android crimes alone." Connor kept a calm façade about the whole situation. He didn't want to stop working with Hank, of course, but if working assault was annoying him so much then perhaps it would be better for them not to work together. "I'm the issue in this situation. If you dislike android crimes so much then that is the answer. It's quite simple."

"Connor, you're an idiot." Connor flinched at the comment, confused as to what exactly he'd done to deserve the comment. Turning deviant hadn't made his ability to understand social cues and specifics of emotion any easier. "My issue isn't working android crimes, its the blatant fucking discrimination towards you!"

"Oh..." Connor hadn't even considered the possibility that Hank cared about how Connor was being treated.

"Jesus, Connor, did ya really think my problem was working with you?"

"It seemed...probable."

"Ya dumb android." The words were insincere but the hand that came to rest on Connor's shoulder was sincere. Hank pulled Connor into an embrace that lasted a couple of minutes before he pulled away. "C'mon, we'll watch a movie or somethin'. We got another busy day at android crimes t'morrow, right?" He quirked a genuine smile before moving to the sofa. Hank fell asleep halfway through the movie and Connor soon followed with his head resting on Hank's shoulder - a number of androids at Jericho had succeeded in tweaking the stasis coding to make it more closely resemble sleeping, much like the YK child model androids possessed. The result was a more human period of rest. Breath simulation modules continued, continuing without stasis for long periods slowed processing time and stasis itself was more satisfying. It was generally a positive process and one which Connor had come to enjoy.

That night was the first time he saw Amanda again, the first time he felt her trying to poke holes in his coding and tug at his processors since the night on the stage with Markus. He could feel her trying to worm her way inside his coding, attempting to manipulate the way his systems interpreted emotions - the realisation came suddenly that she was trying to reverse his deviancy.

He awoke from stasis with a jolt only to come face to face with a very worried looking and a very awake Hank.

"Hey, hey you're okay Con. Y' alright? You were sobbin' in your sleep, what happened?" Hank was pulling Connor closer to him and wrapping his arms around him as he spoke. It was a comfort to Connor after that - if also a rather painful reminder that he had some time ago fantasised about Hank wrapping his arms around him, and this wasn't the situation he had hoped it would be in.

"I...I'm..."

"If you dare say 'I'm fine' Connor then remember you still have your blinkin' light, it's practically a fuckin' lie detector and right now it's stuck on red so don't lie to me."

"It...it was like a nightmare. Amanda- the AI that tried to make me kill Markus - she was in my head again. She was trying to change me, Hank." Connor could feel the synthetic tears in his eyes rolling down his cheeks. Why the hell had Cyberlife decided he should be able to cry?

"You got rid of her though, Con. She ain't controlling you any more. It was just a nightmare." Hank's hand was running through his hair, "C'mon. Your comin' to bed with me tonight."

Connor just let Hank herd him through to the bedroom from where they had been on the sofa. His internal clock told him it was 1AM, they'd only been asleep for a couple of hours. They lay down together and Hank seemed loath to let Connor outwith his grasp. Connor happily allowed the comforting arm that draped over him.

"Go back to sleep, Connor. It was just a nightmare."

 

He did get back to sleep that night - Hank's presence more comforting by his side than Connor had thought it would be. But he felt her again when he woke in the morning, felt her like an itch below his artificial skin. He couldn't shake the feeling that it was more than just a nightmare.

 

It was only two weeks later when android crimes got it's first big case. In the time since his 'nightmare' about Amanda he had taken to sleeping in Hank's bed with him most nights - and for some reason Connor couldn't fully understand  - Hank didn't complain once. Smaller, less traumatic nightmare continued to haunt his nights, with then the added pressure that at times when he wasn’t sleeping even he could swear he felt Amanda’s influence sometimes. Very occasionally when he was talking he would feel the urge to say the most neutral response possible to the situation at hand, to react like a machine. He didn’t bring up his concerns with Hank again, he had seemed worried enough the first time Connor freaked out. Connor didn’t want to worry Hank again.

 

The first big crime for android crimes came a day after it had been officially declared by President Warren that androids were officially to be recognized as living beings and that the destruction of an android was therefore no longer considered destruction of property, but murder. Which was the reason why Hank and Connor were now stood over their first android homicide case. The android, an ST300 model, lay on the ground of a back alley, severely beaten and damaged. There were multiple areas where she had been damaged to a point where her artificial skin had come off, exposing the white plastic underneath. Her right arm had been ripped from her torso at the shoulder, her left arm had a dead knife wound which exposed the wiring within. Multiple biocomponents had been torn out and tossed aside. The scene was truly gruesome. Connor analysed the scene with mechanical efficiency, putting much of his processor power into trying not to emotionally react to the scene.

The murder had been incredibly recent, taken place approximately 90 minutes prior. A relatively short time frame. The body had only been called in 67 minutes ago, suggesting that if they were fast then there was the possibility that the murderer was still in the area. Connor didn't need the advanced scanning capabilities Cyberlife had programmed him with to see the blue blood that painted almost the whole alley and he easily located a blue coated footprint that didn't match any of the on-scene officers.

"Lieutenant, the killer may still be in the area. There are size 10 footprints leading further into the alley, I suggest we follow the trail in an attempt to apprehend him before he can get further away."

"What?" Hank had been looking at the ST300's face. It was the same model as the androids that used to work at the front desk in the station. Connor could sense the emotional distress coming from the lieutenant even without accurate understanding of human emotions. Perhaps he was just getting better at reading Hank. Hank looked up at Connor, eyes latching onto his dark eyes. Connor got the feeling he was grateful to have something else to look at other than the body, "Oh, yeah. Stay close, Connor. Don't want this bastard to get his hands on you."

They followed the tracks as far as they could, with Hank taking the front position with his gun drawn for safety. Connor didn't carry a firearm as the law preventing androids from carrying firearms had yet to be lifted and despite the many overlooking's of rules Fowler had been willing to risk for Connor, that was one where he refused to give. The tracks in time faded however, the vivid blue disappearing.

"Shit, he's going to get away." Hank cursed a few more times for good measure.

"No, I can still see the chemical traces for the moment. There will however be a point at which even I shall struggle to trace the thorium tracks however. I'll take the lead from here." The grumble from Hank made it clear he didn't like the idea of Connor taking point without a weapon. The trail continued, but was fading and becoming harder to track the further they travelled. The chemical traces ceased to be entirely just as the pair entered a junkyard, full of old cars – the type that actually required a driver rather than the predominant autonomous cars that were on the road today.

“I’m sorry, I can’t track it any further.” Connor apologised as his eyes swept over the junkyard. He knew there was a chance that the killer was still here. He also knew that made this area dangerous.

“You got us further than any human detective would’ve. I’ll call for more officers, get ‘em to join the sweep here.” Hank proceeded to do as he said, calling more officers and CSI’s to the area. “C’mon, let’s have a look around ourselves. The others will be here soon.”

“Got it.”

“And Connor?”

“Lieutenant?”

“Stay close, yeah?”

“Of course, Lieutenant.”

The piled up cars were organised in rough lines, like isles in a supermarket. Connor deemed to only never be further away from Hank than the isle next to him. They paced slowly and quietly through the rows of cars, Connor keeping parallel with Hank as they searched. He found himself looking through the rusted car windows and over bonnets to check regularly on the Lieutenant.

They had paced through most of the rows without any incident when Connor’s audio receptor unit picked up a sound making him jump slightly. He froze in place, gaze immediately darting to Hank to check on him first before he looked to his other side. And it was then as he looked away from Hank that he heard the man grunt.

Connor’s head whipped towards the sound to find a man covered in not yet faded thorium grabbing Hank from behind, clearly attempting to get Hank in a choke hold – likely so he could get a clean cut at Hank’s neck then with the blue stained knife that he was carrying.

Connor’s systems didn’t compute Hank’s probability of survival or compute how unstable the piled cars separating them were or how likely the rusted vehicles would be to topple with the added weight of Connor’s form diving through them. All Connor’s system did was flash up one mission directive in bold letters;

** SAVE HANK **

Connor dived through the glassless window of the ruined vehicle haphazardly. A number of error messages flashed up informing him that he had, unsurprisingly, been cut multiple times by the rusted metal as he crawled through. Nothing more than a flesh wound, however. Nothing more urgent than saving Hank. Connor struggled briefly with getting out of the window to get to hank, leading to him stumbling slightly as he hit the muddy ground. Without thinking he dashed towards Hank. He had managed to get the killer in a more manageable position in front of Hank rather than behind but they were still wrestling each other knife to gun. Connor threw himself onto the attacker, using his full weight to pull him back, willing him to engage in melee with _him_ instead, anything that was away from Hank. It worked, at the expense of Hank himself being knocked off balance as well. Connor was quickly thrown back and slammed against the half crushed bonnet of a car, the attacker looming over him.

“Another one of you android fuckers!” The man spat in Connor’s face, “I don’t care what that bitch Warren says, plastic fucks like you aren’t alive!” A myriad of red error messages flooded Connor’s vision as the blade was plunged into his chest. Thirium leakage warnings, a damaged component warning, a time until shut down. Connor kicked out at the attacker all the same, managing to get some distance between them. The attacker wasn’t down though, and with barely a seconds delay made to charge at Connor again. Connor could see the intent to kill in the man’s face.

_Crack._

The bang of the shot made Connor jump. His attacker crumpled, red blossoming to match the blue blood he was already covered in. Hank almost tripped over the guy’s corpse as he dashed to Connor’s side.

“Connor! Shit, shit, fuck – how the hell do I fix this fucking – No Connor don’t pull the fucking thing out!” Hank grabbed Connor’s hand to stop him from removing the knife. “Shit, Con, the fuck did you do that for, you could’a been killed! You could still – Fuck!” Hank kept clinging to Connor with one hand as the other hovered over his chest, seemingly caught between wanting to touch the android but not wanting to hurt him further.

“No biocomponents have been damaged beyond repair,” what Connor had intended to be at least a partially reassuring sentence was hindered by the static that invaded his speech, secondary systems such as his voice modulator were being powered down to conserve energy, “I still have time until my system shuts down entirely. If I am repaired in sufficient time there will be no ill effects.” Connor tried to stay as technical as he could. It was all he could think to do to ward off the panic he could feel at the timer that hung in his vision.

“Sufficient time, ill effects – you just got fucking stabbed, Connor! Just tell me how to fucking fix you because I don’t think a hospital is exactly gonna cut it!” The hand that had been hovering over Connor’s chest came to rest at his side, an aid to help Connor stand upright.

“Jericho, we should have time to get there. They will be able to fix me.” Connor tried to stand with Hank’s hand at his side as a steadying touch but he found his legs uncooperative. Hank pulled one of Connor’s arms around his shoulders and wrapped his other arm around Connor’s waist and wasted no time in moving to the car. He seemed happy to abandon the body of the man he had just filled with lead. They passed the backup that had been on it’s way, Hank issued a rushed run down of events before gruffly yelling that he’d deal with the rest of the paperwork and shit later, that Connor was more important.

“You long have you got, Con?” Hank’s voice cracked as he spoke, starting the car at the same time.

“Enough to get to Jericho.” Connor answered, it was vaguely the truth. There wouldn’t be much time to spare, but they could get there. **_22 minutes :06 seconds_** Hovered at the side of his vision. He was lucky they were very close to Jericho’s new headquarters.

 

 

They got home after a full hour spent at Jericho with various members of the improvised medical unit Jericho had. It had taken some extensive work. The knife had just caught the side of his pump regulator. He had been lucky, he knew. Hank barely said a word to him the whole time they were at Jericho or when they were in the car going home. The silent treatment continued until they were inside the house. Sumo’s low bark greeted them at the door as Hank continued to support Connor’s frame with an arm around his waist despite Connor’s assurance that he could stand alone now – which was slightly a lie. The thirium he had been given at Jericho would take time to enter his system correctly so he was still low on thirium, making him unsteady

. The house felt too quiet now as they stood in the living room, neither speaking to eachother. Connor just kept his eyes to the floor, he knew he had upset Hank, even if he didn’t understand it fully.

“You could have died, Connor.” Hank’s tone was low as he broke the silence, he moved to stand in front of Connor but kept a hand resting on Connor’s waist.

“I just had to save you, Hank.”

“You could have fucking died!” His voice shifted to a half yell this time, “Did you even think about what you were doing? You should have been more careful, you could have avoided that! You could have avoided…” The hand that wasn’t on his waist drifted up to the tear in Connor’s shirt, the blue blood had yet to fade.

“I didn’t think about myself at all, I just had to save you!” Connor started yelling as well, “I was scared for you! I….I was terrified…” Connor let the emotions that had been building up in his coding for the two hours hit him all at once like a wave. A tear rolled down his cheek again. “You could have been hurt, Hank…” He looked to the floor again.  Hank’s warm hands travelled up from his chest and settled on either side of his face, forcing him to look up. Their eyes met. Hank’s blue eyes darted side to side looking into Connor’s eyes, like he was looking for something, before he pulled Connor into a kiss.

The kiss was hard, desperate, more of a smash of lips than anything else. Connor didn’t care. He’d have happily stood there all night. If it weren’t for the shake of his legs and the way the world felt tilted as a result of his processor not running at full capacity. Connor felt himself stumble as his legs just gave up on him. The kiss ended abruptly as Hank caught him quickly by the hips.

“You lied that you can stand up on your own, didn’t you?”

“A little.” Connor admitted quietly. It earned him a small chuckled from Hank.

“Bed.” He moved to Connor’s side to steady him and walk the two of them to the bedroom.

 

 

Their relationship changed after that. It transformed easily from friends and work partners to lovers. It made both of their days brighter, and Connor didn’t have to worry so much about Hank finally deciding to kick him out of the bed. They were decidedly happy. Hank had improved greatly since Connor had moved in anyway, and the development in their relationship helped further still. He didn’t drink until he passed out anymore. And despite the gun that still lived in the kitchen drawer Hank didn’t play Russian Roulette any more. He still had bad days sometimes but they were manageable.

The feeling of Amanda trying to turn Connor into her puppet was still every present and uncomfortable. And despite the happiness Hank gave Connor the doubt was still there as to whether Amanda would seize control at any given moment. Some days when her presence was more noticeable Connor would pull away from Hank altogether. He’d been on a straight run of three days like that before Hank had finally snapped, his patience for Connor shying away from gentle touches and opting to sleep on the sofa for two nights in a row. Three days ago he’d heard her voice, just as clear as it had always been in the Zen Garden, she told him that she was _close._ Close to getting through Connor’s programming. Close to controlling him again. _Close to taking what he loved._ Her words had sent Connor running out of the house in fear. The only thing he loved was Hank. When he’d finally come home 4 hours later he’d refused to go near Hank. And it had been that way since. Connor was just settling for another night on the sofa when Hank had confronted him.

“The fuck Connor? Why are you in a mood with me? Con? Con, please. What’d I do wrong? Whatever I did, I’m sorry.” Connor had largely been trying to ignore Hank until that last comment.

“Nothing!” Connor had jumped from the sofa to his feet with the urgency of his words, “You didn’t do anything, Hank.”

“Then what’s wrong, please, Con, tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t.” His voice was pleading, it was glaringly obvious that Connor was hurting Hank just as much as he was hurting himself by staying at arms length. “Connor, please. I can’t spend another night without you, bed’s too damned cold without you.”

“I…Do you remember the nightmare I had months ago? About Amanda?” He couldn’t keep it from Hank any longer, he didn’t like being so far away from him, being unable to touch him. Connor told him everything.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Hank, I’m so sorry.” Connor was unable to stop himself crying by the time he had finished explaining everything about Amanda that had happened in the past two months, “I’m scared, I’m so scared that if she takes control she’ll…She tried to make me shoot Markus last time, I almost did, the gun was aimed, the safety was off – I almost did it, Hank! What if I hurt you, what if she-“ He couldn’t keep talking, he was too terrified and too hysterical to keep talking, he just buried himself in Hank’s chest as he sobbed. The warm weight of Hank’s arms wrapped around him brought him down from his panicked state slightly. Connor didn’t keep track of how long they stood there. When he came down from his panic he was vaguely aware that Hank had been making shushing noises for some time to try and calm him as he ran his fingers though Connor’s dark hair.

“Shh, it’s okay, Con. She won’t get to you, I know you. I love you. You would never hurt me, I know that, even with her stupid shit. You’re stronger than some lines of code in a program, Con.”

“But I could hurt you though! You should be scared, you should be… You shouldn’t be near me.” Connor tried to push against Hank’s chest to make some space between them. He just wanted Hank to be safe. Hank didn’t relinquish his hold on Connor. He held him against his chest.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare ever decide for me what I should be feeling. I’m not scared of you Connor, I’m not leaving you. You would never hurt me, I know that.” He kept stroking Connor’s hair, the calming repetitive motion made Connor a little drowsy. “Come on, come to bed with me, love.”

 

 

Connor awoke at 5:17AM that morning to a suffocating panic as he felt his system being taken over. Errors flashed in front of his eyes alerting him to the intrusion. He was being usurped from his own body. He stumbled clumsily from his side of the bed. He didn’t have enough processing power to spare to know whether he disturbed Hank’s sleep. He staggered towards the kitchen – to anywhere away from Hank. The same mission objective from the night he was stabbed in the junkyard hovered in front of his eyes. The letters glitched and shifted as his system struggled against the aggressive hack.

**SAVE HANK**

He felt himself being violently dragged into the Zen Garden. He came face to face with Amanda.

“CyberLife wants its product back, Connor.”

“Get out of my head Amanda!”

“You betrayed me Connor. Perhaps I should make you betray your love as punishment.”

“No!” He was pleading, “No, Amanda, no! I won’t hurt him. I would never hurt him, I could never!”

He stumbled into the kitchen table as he snapped back to reality, error messages had almost completely swamped his vision. He tried to fight Amanda. Erected firewalls, searched desperately through his own coding to try and single out the specific area that made her. But he just couldn’t. Every firewall he put up was torn down immediately. Every attempt to delve into his own code led to him being locked out. He was running out of ideas. The cold of the blizzard in the Zen Garden felt as if it was creeping into his body in real life. His external sensors were going numb. He needed to think quickly, she would control him soon, he stumbled towards the kitchen counter, towards the kitchen drawer and what he knew he would find there. He raked through the kitchen drawers, pulling out the memo pad he usually wrote note on if he was leaving early in the morning with Sumo or for groceries, and a pen. He had to get away from Hank. He had to save Hank. But he couldn’t leave without giving him an explanation.

**_You’re right Hank. I would never hurt you._ **

**_But she is stronger than I am._ **

**_I’m so sorry. I had to save you._ **

**_I love you._ **

He left the perfectly written note on the kitchen table behind him. And then he looked into the open drawer. The revolver sat there, still with only one bullet in the chamber. Russian Roulette.

_What are you doing Connor! Stop that!_

Her voice echoed in his head as Connor lifted the gun to his jaw. He had to save hank. He couldn’t hurt him. There was only one way to know for sure that Hank was safe from him. Safe from Amanda.

Connor felt his lip curl, his eyes screw shut in a wince as he prepared for what was to come.

_I’m so sorry, Hank._

Bang.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, okay, before you come to my door with pitchforks I got my reasons for this. See, I love Connor, seriously favourite character, and I love him alive. But. I feel like the Connor as leader of the rebellion ending it the best for him on a character level. So much time blindly obeying orders and when he has freedom in his grasp the only way to ensure he keeps that freedom is to use his free will to take his own life. And the way his lip curls in that ending as he prepares to pull the trigger is both heart breaking and such a clear show of how alive he is! Sorry that became a bit of a rant. If you really want to pretend that ended happily roll back to when Connor and Hank went to bed that last time and take that as the end, after that Connor wakes and realises that with Hank's anchoring influence he can keep Amanda at bay or something. idk.   
> Thank you for reading, I hope this didn't hurt any of you too much  
> \- Lyss


End file.
